Me: Im not charging you for lunch.
Her: Nonononononono I don’t want you to pay for my lunch! I will increase my tab to $32. Thanks though, Dave, you are really a good woman – er, person.
Me: Nope you owe nothing but I'm only doing this because I harbor secret fantasies involving you, an unplugged hairdryer, some ramen noodles and a slightly used slinky.
Her: Metal slinky or plastic slinky? Or one of those dogs with a slinky for a body?
Me: You, madam, are clearly a freak.
Her: I’M JUST CURIOUS.
Me: Yes…I can see that. That’s why Im afraid to turn my back to you.
Her: In my defense, uh… that’s probably a good call on your part.
Me: Yeah, I figure... I'll hear the snap of a rubber glove, feel a sombrero thrown on my head and then you’ll toss a saddle on my back and I just don’t think Im ready for that level of commitment.
Her: Isn’t that just lunch at El Cantinero?
Me: That’s certainly what it feels like about a half hour after I eat there.
No comments:
Post a Comment