You May Have Won…but you didnt.

I'm entered into a sweepstakes…don't be jealous…my comments in red, as usual…

David,

We are embarking on one of the most exciting and engaging presidential primary seasons of our lifetime.  I don't see how…there's two dozen douchebags racing to see who can spend the most money and terrorize the American people the most all in an effort to jump into the "driver seat" so we can see yet again for the zillionth time in a row that these guys have no intention of helping anyone but themselves and their friends.

And we are gearing up to have one of the most dynamic and diverse presidential lineups in history. Jesus take the wheel, the words dynamic and presidential lineups simply don't go together.

David, you could be there to witness it all as history is made. The RNC is giving one lucky winner and a guest the chance to attend the first GOP Debate. Sweet Fat Baby! Really, the only way I would attend this is if I can prepare the catered food and personally give every single one of them horrible, butt-clenching colon-searing diarrhea.

They'll fly the winner and a guest to Cleveland, put them up for the night and save them a seat at the historic debate. Ok thats just a joke…you can't be a "winner" and end up in Cleveland.

And it could be you. All you have to do is enter in the next 24 hours for your chance to win. Again…I don't think I would consider that "winning".

Trust me, there's nothing more exciting than being in the arena as our candidates compete to be the next Republican President of the United States of America. And you could be there to experience it for yourself, as we kick off the 2016 primary season. If you honestly believe there is nothing more exciting that sitting around with a huge group of racist, sexist, barely educated pinheads then you have never gone to DisneyLand or ever had an orgasm.

To recap, you and a guest get:

• Seats at the first GOP presidential debate I hope they give out pillows so I don't bang my head on the desk when I fall asleep.
• Round-trip flights to Cleveland Oh, hell no.
• One-night stay at a hotel There's hotels in Cleveland? That doesn't make sense

This debate is going to be incredible. No it isn't.