Get it now before it's at the Dollar Store.

Yahoo! 
This is freakin awesome…no, wait…
This is another excuse for me to make fun of politicians.

So I got yet another email from the GOP…ON SALE TODAY ONLY!  EVERYTHING 15% OFF. They want to offer me the rare opportunity to buy some of their amazing and oh so classy swag. 

Ironically…swag that was made in Mexico and China.

But I digress.

Put on your seatbelt..here we go:

Item 1: George Bush Quote Shirt. I didn't think it was possible to find a shirt with his name as well as a reference to reading/writing on it…they just don't go together. 

But I think it's great that they put his IQ on the front.

Item 2: Coffee Mug. It says My Kids are Raised Right…those kids would be 

better off if they were "Raised by wolves".

Item 3: Official Dick Cheney Cowboy Hat. Yessir, if it's one thing that come to mind when I think of the pioneering spirit of the Old West…It's Dick Cheney.*

Item 4: Socks. I didn't think it would be possible to make socks stupid…but I was wrong.

Item 5: George Washington Quote Shirt: This doesn't make sense at all, 

Washington was not a republican or a democrat for that matter.

Item 6: Republican Camo Hat. I question the use of this hat, doesn't the bright 

traffic-cone orange printing on the front make it easy to find you? Maybe that 

was the problem for Harry Whittington.**

Item 7: I Miss W Bush Coffee Mug. Hmmm, this is probably a dribble glass.

Item 8: Republican Tie: This item is spot-on. What better way to celebrate the Republicans…or any politicians really with an item of clothing that restricts the supply of oxygen to your brain.

Item 9: Bumper Sticker: This one is confusing, it clearly says "2014: Republicans for the Win". But the election isn't until 2016. Im concerned that maybe Republicans don't know what year it is…but that sounds about right.

And now since I'm all about "dropping knowledge" as the kids say: 

Added Bonus! Some interesting facts about Dick Cheney:

• He failed out of college twice.

• He dodged the draft 5 times during Vietnam. I guess its much easier to send other people to die in your senseless wars than to pick up a gun yourself.

• While quail hunting with attorney Harry Whittington, Cheney "accidentally" shot him in the face despite the fact that everyone was wearing blaze orange safety gear and no one was drinking. When asked if Cheney ever apologized, Whittington refused to answer.

• His Mom's maiden name was Lorraine Dickey so if his father had taken his wife's name, their son would have been Dick Dickey…and that's one of the few names in all of history that match the person perfectly.

• On June 29th 2002, Cheney acted as President of the US for almost 3 hours while George Bush had a colonoscopy. That means that an asshole was running the country while an asshole was being examined. 

• Or even better: It means an asshole invaded the Oval Office while an asshole was being invaded.

And now I'm done.