Wait...don't I look like an adult?

Saturday morning, we have family coming over for lunch.
Ava takes a shower and dries off.

She runs into my office naked and moons me. 

I pull out a pen and sign my initials on her right butt cheek.

She runs out and shows Renee.

Renee goes completely batshit and says, I quote…

“You are an idiot, what happens if she falls down the stairs and when we get to the hospital they see your name on her ass”?

And I said…"well, at least they’ll know she is my kid".

And that's when she punched me.