TAKEABUNCHADEES (Metaphilimyesneh Citrate) is prescription
medicine used to treat feelings of meh.
Do you find that every now and again that you just don't feel like doing anything particular? Are you sometimes confronted by an angry spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend because you can't make a decision on a restaurant or movie to go to? Do you find yourself unable to muster any real feelings for the Dallas Cowboys? When your boss asks how you are doing, do you just shrug your shoulders?
Then you may have Meh and you may be a candidate for TAKEABUNCHADEES.
IMPORTANT SAFETY INFORMATION BELOW…
Do not take TAKEABUNCHADEES if you take nitrates, as this may cause a sudden, unsafe drop in blood pressure and the urge to decorate your shelves with tiny porcelain cats or if you are a dude, Boba Fett action figures.
If you are older than age 65, feel free to go out on your porch and yell at kids that are skateboarding nearby. You should limit yourself to twice a day while on TAKEABUNCHADEES.
In the rare event of an erection lasting more than 4 hours, hi-five your girlfriend/wife/husband/boyfriend.
Discuss your general health status with your doctor to ensure that you are healthy enough to engage in garage sales and/or antiquing. If you experience chest pain, nausea, or any other discomforts during these tasks and you are a dude, then that is normal. Sit down and have a beer until the feeling passes.
Do not take TAKEABUNCHADEES if you:
If you use recreational drugs called "poppers". However, you may continue to safely eat Jalapeño Poppers from Chili's.
Before taking TAKEABUNCHADEES, tell your doctor about all your medical problems, including if you:
Have had a heart attack.
Have low blood pressure or have high blood pressure or have medium blood pressure.
Have had a stroke or feel like you had a stroke after you watched that video with the two scantily-clad nurses and the feather duster.
Have had a seizure.
Have viewed a LOLcat image in the last 36 hours.
Have attended an awkward holiday dinner with your family in the past 3 years.
Have liver problems.
Have kidney problems.
Have 99 problems but a bitch aint one.
Have severe vision loss, but if thats true, how are you reading this?
Have a bleeding problem…thats weird, it sounds like a british phrase…"Oy…what's the bleeding problem here"!
Like kitchy paintings of children with abnormally sized eyes.
Have a weird penis shape or if guys in the locker room point and laugh at you.
Have hearing problems or if you shout "WHAT"? when someone says anything to you.
The most common side effects with TAKEABUNCHADEES are headache, flushing, stuffy or runny nose, indigestion, eyebrow thinning, upset stomach, dizziness, and back pain. You may also experience, cotton mouth, Bent-Toe Syndrome, the urge to jam your pinkie into your butt or the butts of others nearby, an unnatural urge to eat small pickles with Cool-Whip, incontinence, sensitivity to light, sensitivity to dark and/or an uncontrollable urge to shriek during dusk, Indescribable Wang Detachment, the ability to breathe underwater, an inability to stomach listening to NPR radio for more than 30 minutes, Color vision changes, such as having difficulty telling the difference between the colors blue and green, uncontrolled urges to curse in church, burning nipples and/or a slight twinge when watching FOX TV.
In rare instances, men taking TAKEABUNCHADEES reported a sudden loss in brain function causing them to make insane purchases while watching late-night TV not limited to the George Foreman Grill, Hair in a Can, The BackYard Screwboy, The Used Tissue Reclaimer, The Ultimate Rotissiere and that really stupid multilevel cooker where everything you cook drips on to the stuff below it so it all tastes the same. It is not possible to determine whether these purchases are related directly to the drug, to other diseases or medications, or to the fact that people are generally stupid.
You are encouraged to report side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA.
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