An interview with Moonbeam YakSquat Waterfall: Freegan and modern hippie.
(not his real name but this is a real conversation with him verbatim.)
1. Are you married and do you have children? Would/does that change your lifestyle?
I am not married (not even dating currently) and I don’t have children. I would probably not get romantically involved with someone who did not share my concerns and convictions. That doesn’t mean that she (my future wife) would have to be freegan and/or eat the food I bring home (consciousness goes a long way)… but I doubt I’d let my partner’s scruples hinder my freegan activities either way. As far as children are concerned, I would not make lifestyle choices for my children that my wife was not in agreement with. So it would depend on her feelings regarding freeganism/vegetarianism/consumerism/etc.
Translation: I have been unable to find a woman who will put up with my lack of ambition and my inability to support myself thru legal means. There are not a lot of women out there who want to abandon being useful members of society and live with me and my many roommates in a filthy, city-subsidized Harlem apartment filled with the sad, dirty detritus one finds laying on every corner of the city. Also, women generally don’t want to recycle their own poop. And women generally want me to bathe at least a few times a week and I think that’s a waste of water. Also you get used to your own stink after a few weeks. If I had children, I would ruin their lives from the start by making them drink the soy milk I steal from Starbucks, consume the half eaten vegetables I get out of the trash behind Chipotle and wear clothes that I get from the bus station Lost and Found. They would be unable to attend school because they would have to perform with me in the Port Authority for 5 hours a day playing songs about Peace, Love and Understanding…three things that my pockets are full of cause there sure as shit aint no money in there. Also I don’t know the difference between the words consciousness and conscientious.
2. How do you handle medical and dental issues, especially here in NYC?
There are free clinics at NYU (downtown) and Columbia University (uptown). Perhaps there are more in other buroughs/parts of the city. I haven’t been to any of them yet, though I’ve been meaning to set up an appointment for the past couple months. I’m a young man with great health, as far as I can tell… hopefully that will be confirmed soon!
Translation: Despite the fact that I am constantly writing on my blog about how fatigued I am, I don’t believe it has anything to do with a diet that is maintained by eating trash and avoiding honest work. I don’t know where the money comes from for free clinics but I like telling people I live “off the grid” and am not a drain on society. I think that other people should pay for my medical care. I don’t see why I cant take advantage of hard working people who pay taxes, are productive members of society and don’t eat garbage.
3. How did you get used to traveling with no money? Doesn’t it scare the crap out of you?
Traveling with no money was quite easy to get used to… I didn’t have any other options! I first decided to hitch hike last summer when I realized that I needed to get to Miami (from nyc) but didn’t have any money. The only other way to travel that far with no money and relatively little time is to rideshare (unreliable) or to hop freight. I’ve never hopped freight before and I don’t know anyone who has. So hitch hiking was my only option, especially as I wanted to stop in a few cities along to way for shows. Hitch hiking is not as viable or reliable it used to be, as it should be.
Translation: Hitching a ride with potential murderers who may subject me to sexual assault is always interesting, and free! Hitch hiking is guaranteed in the Constitution, it comes after the right to substitute good hygiene for turning your shirt inside out and splashing some patchouli oil on to cover the stank. I like taking my chances with potential lunatics that will chop off my hands and feet and leave me to bleed to death near some county road in Kentucky.
4. Do you support programs like CityHarvest where food that is being thrown out is collected and distributed by groups, does that interfere with the people like yourself who collect foods on their own?
CityHarvest is great, but they don’t have enough resources to handle the amount of waste in NYC. There is more than enough for them, homeless people, and non-homeless people like myself who are simply concerned about the massive amount of waste in our society.
Translation: CityHarvest collects the pre-packaged and edible food from the restaurants in the city that have not been in a filthy steaming dumpster all day but there is still so much half eaten garbage out there, I cant control myself. Im salivating all over my dirty patchouli-stained dashiki…mmmm I just found some three week old tuna salad in my rats nest of a beard. Yum.
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