A cheeky Invitation...

The Social Networking Invitation of the Decade!

1. Do you feel left out?

2. Are you so in desperate need of social significance that you troll the internet and try to make friends among the 168 million people who all claim to be someone cool but are in actuality 13-year old boys looking for photos of girls kissing?

3. Is your brain so damaged from staring at your FaceBook page that you think Sarah Palin is a viable choice for our government? Have you "friended' Sarah Palin? Did you wear protection?

4. Do you spend your Saturday nights plugged into your laptop trading stupid comments with other people in your social network while normal people are out drinking and having sweaty, freaky monkey-sex?

5. Do you spend lot of time alone at home? Do you touch yourself inappropriately?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, then worry no more! I have created the greatest social network ever...

ASSBOOK!

Yes, Assbook. The better alternative to FaceBook, a social network the likes of which has never been seen. See, when I was growing up, back during the Late Cretaceous Period, we had to physically go outside and make friends and then engage them in conversation.

Little did I know that years later most conversations would take place online and look like this ...

KewlDude: What's up, what's going on?

HotChik289: Nothing, how bout you?

KewlDude: Nothing

BoinkBoy212: WAZZUP!

KewlDude: What's up BoinkBoy?

HotChik289: What's going on?

BoinkBoy: Nothing, how bout you guys?

BoinkBoy212: WAZZUP!

BoinkBoy212: WAZZUP!

HotChik289: Nothing, how bout you?

KewlDude: Nothing.

BoinkBoy: Cool.

Isn't that riveting! What scintillating dialogue!

Well on AssBook, you don't have to worry about that, because we don't have anything like it. All we have is a picture of a giant ass for you to stare at for hours and hours. That way when your friends want to know why you are ignoring them, you'll have a good reason.

AssBook: The Future is Ignoring Reality and It Starts Today!