12 Steps? That's nothing...

Original process:

Client issues an order to us.

New job is created by Jon.

I see the confirmation email.

I log into Quickbooks by entering my username (Studly J. McHandsome).

Create PO.

Issue to client via email.

Total elapsed Time: 3 minutes.

New Process:

Client issues an order to us.

Jon lights some candles and prays to the Gods of Accounting that they will grant his wish.

Marge ignores him.

I see the new order and ask Jon if he can create a PO.

Jon give me “the look” and points at Marge’s office.

I cry a little bit.

Marge chuckles and accidently spills some Skittles down her boobs.

I send client order to Marge and ask with great humility and respect how I can pretty-please with sugar on top... get a Sales Order Number generated.

Marge says I must choose from the following three challenges, if I complete one, she will issue the new number:

1. Must get thru an entire day with using the words Orale! or referring to Hilaleah as the crappier version of Opalocka.

2. Must find a vintage 1977 phone book from Encino California in mint condition.

3. Must provide proof that all the bad things in the world are because tall people keep marrying short people. *

I choose Number 2 because it seems the least likely to result in tremendous pain via a chancletta to the head.

I go on CraigsList to find the phone book.

I get distracted on the site and end up accidently soliciting sex from a midget in Tulsa, Oklahoma. While I have him on the phone, I tell him about Marge’s theory on short people. He agrees, he says that short people plan to eventually take over the world but for now he agrees to ship me the phonebook.

Two weeks later I get the phonebook to Marge.

She creates the Sales Order Number.

I log into Quickbooks using my username (Tremendous Lee Largewang).

Create PO.

Issue to client.

Total elapsed Time: 19 days.

** In the scientific community, this very important theory is known as the Jaramillo Midget-Giant Repose Conjecture.