We're Number One!

When I hear critics say that the USA is in a rut, that we are on the decline, that we don't do anything better than anyone else anymore.

I have to laugh..because of this package I just got…

This box arrived from Amazon. It's hard to tell but it takes up more than half of my kitchen island…the box is in fact two feet long.

Inside, it was packed to the top with these air packets that have become so popular lately. At this point I was crazy excited. What could warrant this size box AND such intense packaging? 

Was it a Faberge egg collection from some long-lost rich relation? A six-pack of crystal hamsters…could it be that I finally got the one-of-a-kind authenticated set of the original Superman, George Reeves' dentures?

Nope…its a single fuckin' gift card.