Is there a problem, officer?

Trying to help a friend obtain her first driver's license.

I got my license when I was 30 and living in New Jersey. Getting it was very simple, the road test is very relaxed, the streets in a rural area are very easy to navigate and parallel parking is simple when you aren't worried about delivery trucks and bike messengers crashing into you at 160 miles per hour.

However, this is Miami where almost every single road sign and light is considered a vague suggestion for the crazed wackaloons that haunt the streets of this hot, humid place.  A place where 59 year old women often go grocery shopping wearing teeny tiny articles of clothing manufactured from some sort of super stretchy material that allows 230 lbs of woman to be compressed into a space barely large enough to hold a 2-liter bottle of Pepsi.

But I digress.

Anyway, I decided to do some research and look for a decent driving school but what I found didn't seem quite right. You see the highest rated school was this one. See below…

Needless to say I was confused. I mean there are literally tens of thousands of car images on the internet…any image would have been better than this one.

I mean is this the part of the class where they teach you the Tokyo Drift or is it the section where you are tested to see if you can drive the getaway car after a bank robbery?

Then I went a little further into the site and found this…

This was a little weirder. Granted the person who wrote it was not a native english speaker…which is why we have excellent grammatic gems such as…

"Very important to carefully look at the intercepcion lights, since this devices will save our live every moment of our lives".

I couldn't have said it better myself.

The weird part is the image… I believe the language is Chinese.  

The car has no license plate. The signs are all really weird, if you look closely you see...

One that shows that this road allows Men in Hats to walk fast...

One showing the robot Johnny 5 from the crappy movie Short Circuit followed by…

One with the symbol for no handball courts…

One showing the image of a dude giving another dude a reach-around and last…

One that says there are broken swing sets up ahead.

It's all very confusing and to be honest I no longer know why I started writing this. Oh right, I was trying to find a driving school that I could recommend to a friend.

Well...this aint it.