It's that in the history of music starting with the first person who clonked two rocks together, the absolute worst song ever made is:
One (Blake's Got a New Face), by Vampire Weekend.
It is without a doubt, without any exaggeration, the most irritating thing ever.
Part of me doesn't believe its a real song, it's almost as if a group of guys got together and said, lets just screw around with the public and see who is actually demented enough to buy this single.
The song does have its uses though…
If your child hates math, play it for them once and then threaten to make it their ringtone... by the end of the next week, that child will be able to teach advanced Calculus at MIT.
If your spouse won't touchup the garage door where the paint is chipping off, have him listen to this musical gem and by the time the weekend is over, he will have painted not only the garage door but the next 52 garage doors in your neighborhood.
I think if you ever want to mobilize an army all you have to do is play the song once, afterwards tell the soldiers if they won't fight, they have to listen to the song once a day for the next year and you will have on your hands, the most savage, blood-thirsty, angry hardcore, death dealers to ever storm a castle.
Anyway, that's what I think.
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