Potty Humor...

Ava is only six but one thing I can say with 100% certainty, parenting is only the slimmest illusion of control over your kids...

Saturday Night
Dinner

Ava apparently feels that I give her too many orders.

Ava: Im done and Im going to watch TV.

Me: Eat two more pieces of chicken and then you can go.

Ava: Sir, Yes Sir! She salutes

Me: Just eat.

Ava finishes chewing, wipes her mouth and walks away to watch her show, a minute later she stands up.

Ava: Sir, I am pausing the show because I have to poop! She salutes

Me: Uh, thanks, I think.

Ava goes to the bathroom. I am in the kitchen facing her while I wrap up leftovers.

Ava: Sir, I am not closing the door while I poop. She salutes

Me: Great.

Ava: Preparing to shit, sir!

Me: Aaahhhhh! No... don't say that!

Ava: Now shitting, sir!

Me: Thats enough!

Ava: Finished shitting sir! I have shitted!

Me: Please stop…and it's "shat" not shitted.

Ava: Shitted…sir! She salutes

Me to Renee: Im going upstairs to cry.