Saturday, May 3, 2014

If only there was a way to block the sun






Lookin' for Love?



Hello, Ladies.





The things people say...

It's a 22 year-old meme but at my office it might as well have been created yesterday…


Me: They both have to go in at the same time.
AA: That's what she said.


Me: It's my birthday, you have to do whatever I want.
AA: That's what she said.


Me: Where the hell do you think you're gonna put that?!
AA: Thats what she said.


Me: It will be quick, I promise.
AA: That's what she said.


Me: Everyone's always squeezing, smacking, and pushing me, I don't complain.
AA: That's what she said.


AA: I want to pull it out and show it to them.
Me: That's what he said.


Me: Didnt I do something huge for you?
AA: That's what she said.


Me: Your stuff wont fit in there anyway!
AA: That's what she said.


Talking about Brazilian all you can eat steakhouse
AN: How much meat can you eat?
AA: That's what he said.


MM: Fuck yes, please please.
AA (in her own head): That’s what she said.


Me: Well, that cant be right, you dont even know where it goes.
AA : That's what she said.


AN: There's something in my mouth.
Me: That's what she said.


AN: FUCK!
Me: (whispering) That's what she said.


DM: This both sucks and blows at the same time.
AN: That's what she said.


SS: Hold on, I'm coming!
AA: That's what she said.


SS: That was fast.
Me: That's what she said.


JP: Let's try and squeeze that in.
Me: That's what she said.


SS: You can squeeze one right here.
Me: That's what she said.


SS: Ooh! it's so big now.
Me: That's what she said.



Saturday, April 19, 2014

Reason 73...

…why Renee should not have access to email…


If Jesus had MRSA, do you think his followers would have said:
"Lord have MRSA"?




Sunday, April 13, 2014

Umm…the flavor is….different...

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I miss George...

Did you ever notice that? 
How many really stupid people you run into during the day?

Goddam there's a lot of stupid bastards walking around.

Carry a little pad and pencil with you. 
You'll wind up with thirty or forty names by the end of the day.

Look at it this way:

Think of how stupid the average person is and then 
realize that half of them are stupider than that.

- George Carlin




That doesn't sound right...

Saturday night. We are having dinner.

Ava: "Well…you know what they say: "When in Rome...Take off your pants".

Me: Wait, who the hell says that?