Sunday, November 17, 2013

???

From Shine.com

I've Seen the Future of Men's Fashion and I'm Afraid

This week, menswear designers took a giant step for all mankind. Now they might want to take a few baby steps back. The London Men's Collection, a week-long preview of cutting edge collections for the Fall/Winter 2013-2014 season, is supposed to offer a glimpse into the future of menswear. Instead it was a harbinger of a fashion apocalypse. Wooden face barricades, toxic waste jumpsuits, and strapless dresses worn by dour male pixies. Ladies, meet your new stylish man. He's your worst nightmare and he knows it.



As if American men aren't becoming effeminate enough



I'll bet if you went skiing in this and got lost, the rescue dogs would 
refuse to locate you.



I can't even begin to understand this one.



This haircut looks like the business end of a sheep.


Unemployed clown? Homeless Santa? Mystery hobo?




I love this last one because it really sums up the whole show.


And just so we know we are all in this together, here are some of the 
comments that followed the pictures.


I sincerely hope this turns out to be an ad for Zoolander 2

The day my husband shows up looking this will be the day he never gets laid again.

My chances with women go up every time a man wears this outfit.

What is even going on...and why isn't this designer in a mental institution

He looks like my dog when I make him wear a sweater....totally miserable

Looks like a gay bar scene from an upcoming Star Wars movie.

What is happening to mankind?




Heavy is the head...




Ava: Im the boss! Im in charge!

Renee to me: Looks like you have a little tyrant on your hands".

Ava looks at her hands front and back: "wait…what's on my hands"?



I think we can all agree with this...








Check out my 'stache...



If you are a 20-year old and this is the mustache you produce, you may want 
to shave more often unless you want to be mistaken for a 13-year old white trash 
kid who spends his days huffing paint in his parents garage while dreaming of the 
day when he finally goes through puberty.



Remember My Name...



What is it with the Trumps? Donald (The Donald, aka ToupeeMan, etc etc.) Trump likes to put his name in giant letters on everything he can. I mean it’s obviously an attempt to compensate for something… small wang would be my guess.

Anyway, his daughter seems to follow in his footsteps, she just released a photo of her new earring “design”. Of course at the base of the jewelry is a not-subtle-in-the-slightest letter "T”. I've been told, this stands for Trump, believe it or not.

Now bear with me, we’re gonna go off the path a bit here…

I grew up in the 70’s (just after the Mesozoic Era... when dinosaurs ruled the earth, it’s true, ask your parents) and during those years graffiti was everywhere: sides of buildings, cars, mailboxes, slow moving dogs and of course subway trains.

I know there are a lot of people out there who think Graffiti is a legitimate art style worthy of public praise, inclusion in their homes or The Lourve etc. but those people are stupid. Graffiti is done by low-level semi-criminals who have no respect for things that belong to others. And one thing I noticed is that graffiti is not so much a design or a picture as often as it is someones “tag”… their name, or if you will, their nome du vandalism.

But then it occurred to me, the reason they write their name in giant letters risking jail and sometime (depending on location) loss of life was because of one simple fact…they know they are not important, that in fact, they are uninteresting people who will be forgotten by just about everyone they ever meet, possibly even their parents.

So graffiti back then was sort of like FaceBook and Twitter today…shouting your name into the endless void and hoping someone, anyone out there will respond back or possibly even ask who you might be.

So the Trumps, in this half-assed attempt at an analogy, are just doing the same thing. They are uninteresting, sad people who have more fame than they deserve and they are just desperately afraid that if they don’t smear their freakin name over just everything they can, that 10 years from now, no one will know who they were or even care.

And you know what?…that really makes me smile.





Sunday, November 3, 2013

That's what my father told me...

We are watching a TV show, it features a family get-together where kids see their grandparents for the first time in a while. The grandfather is sort of stooped over and seemingly shorter than his wife.

Ava: "How come the grandfather is shorter than the grandmother"?

Me: "Thats what happens when you are married to the same person for a long time, you start to shrink".

Ava: (to Renee): "Is that true, Mom"?

Me: (continuing), "Yep, before my grandfather passed away he was 16 inches tall".



Can I get a little context here?

As I get older, I find myself less interested in bullshit and more interested in people thinking before they speak. After all, in a world overtaken by "social" media, we find ourselves surrounded by an absolutely ungodly amount of stupid people suddenly given voice.

I can assure you 100% that there are so, so many people who shouldn't be allowed to speak to other human beings, never mind be allowed to push their inane drivel out into the electronic world…

…kind of like me and this blog.

Anyway, Sunday mornings I usually read the NY Times, it's a big-ass phone book weight pile of paper that takes a good 4 hours to cull through and that's only if you skip any articles that deal with politics, Kim Kardashian, why you will never be classy enough to understand modern dance and every other story that aims to explain why exotic travel is just the best thing ever, except for the times when you get kidnapped and sold into a brothel 10,000 miles away from home.

Anyway, I digress…

So there is a small weekly article called "Sunday Routine". Generally the article is a multi-point description of a particular person and what they do in NYC on a Sunday. They are generally very interesting and fun to read and I look forward to them…until today.

The person they chose this week was Irv "Mr. G" Gikovsky. He has been around since I was a kid and he is a fairly famous weatherman, although I think I am supposed to call him a "meteorologist" cause that sounds better than "guy who gets things right 15% of the time".

Anyway, one of the things they touched on was that he is currently training for the NYC Marathon. It is no doubt, a difficult task, I have friends who train and run it, it takes quite a bit of discipline, training and fortitude to compete in it. No question.

About this topic, he is quoted as saying:

"The marathon reveals the human spirit at its best".

Nine words that very succinctly prove that people, even educated people are actually stupid.

You have to be kidding me, running a long time reveals the human spirit at its best?

What about people who help get torture victims out of their countries, or people who provide safe haven for battered women, or homeless shelter staff that provide food and clothes to people who have no where else to turn?

What about firefighters? Are there many jobs you know of where the pay sucks and you still run into a goddamn building on fire to save someone's cat?

What about people who jump into frozen lakes to save strangers?

What about the passengers on Flight 93, who gave their lives to stop the hijackers from hitting their target?

How about a zillion other people who make the world a better place. It's a really freakin long list and I'm grateful its long because it tells me that human beings are still worth something.

But I know one thing…Irv "Mr. G" Gikovsky is not on that fuckin list.