Managers just dont listen...

Monday - 4:48pm...hour 4 of yet another senseless meeting.

Unidentified Health Care Provider

Clueless Manager: "So, are we all on the same page"?

Sarcastic Employee: "Yes sir, it’s a ripped page with frayed edges and a coffee stain

in the corner and later today someone will wrap up their used gum in it but we’re all

on the same page".

Clueless Manager: "Excellent... leave a copy with my secretary".

Wait...the underwear go under the pants?

What the fuck is this?…I keep thinking that over and over.

I know I have Old Man Syndrome, hell, I think I've had it since I was 30 but Jesus H. Christ, what am I looking at here?

Is this a real thing?

Is this a real live human being who chose of his own volition to put these particular clothes on? Was this fool forced to dress at gunpoint? Is this a statement? Is it a protest? Has he suffered head trauma? Is it a dare for a new reality TV show? 

Why the fuck can't I wrap my head around it!?

If this guy came up to me in the street, I would assume he was mugged, given a poor haircut, had all his clothes  and razor stolen and then forced to dress at the local men's shelter. I would in fact give him money because even a hobo has better fashion sense than this.

The photo comes from NY Magazine…which goes a long way in explaining why people who don't live in NYC think New Yorkers are schmucks. This guy is a marketing manager who likes to bike and has become a homebody according to the very in-depth questionnaire. 

It doesn't mention if he shops for his clothes in a filthy Brooklyn dumpster while wearing a blindfold but that would explain a lot.

Adults don't dress like this, not in the past, not now and not in the future.

People who have no shame and no connection to reality do.

You Must be Trippin'...

Earlier this week I was climbing the stairs out of the subway on to Prince Street. In front of me was a 20-something year old, whose pants were hanging low, underwear bunched up around his waist. Everyone has seen this "style"of dressing and of course, everyone has an opinion about it. 

Despite having to endure his hairy crack inches from my face, the best part was when we got to the last step... as he hiked his pants up (his right pant leg being under his $300 sneakers) he tripped himself face first onto the sidewalk.

Im not proud of it but I laughed out loud.

No, wait thats not true…I was proud.

When I got to the office, I looked this particular fashion statement up on The Great InterWebs…last bastion of all things truthful and accurate…

WIkipedia: (my comments in red)...

Sagging is a manner of wearing trousers below the waist, revealing much of the underwear. Sagging is predominantly a male fashion. (further proof that most women are generally smarter than men). Women's wearing of low rise jeans to reveal their g-string underwear (the "whale tail") is not generally considered sagging. (good to know).

An individual that participates in the practice of sagging may be referred to as a sagger. (clever). In some countries this practice is known as 'low-riding'. It has become popular since the popularity of wearing brightly colored and patterned 'boxer' underwear. 

Sagging was adopted from the United States prison system where belts are prohibited. (Of all the places where you don’t want your pants around your ankles, I believe that jail is number one.) Belts are sometimes prohibited to keep prisoners from using them as weapons or in committing suicide by hanging themselves.The style was later popularized by hip-hop artists in the 1990s. 

It has since become a symbol of freedom and cultural awareness (what culture promotes dressing like a hobo?) among some youths or a symbol of their rejection of the values of mainstream society.(They're rejecting wearing pants correctly as a statement? How dangerous and progressive… you might as well protest toast or carpet or crayons.)

Yep…the youth of today…blindly stumbling into the future..and dragging us with them.

Goes down smooooooth...

I saw a poster today for Bud Light…on the bottles it now says "Superior Drinkability". What the fuck does that mean?

Doesn't any liquid have superior drinkability? What would be amazing is if cement or hot glue or roofing tar had superior drinkability. 

That would be something.

So this is how I see it...

Yes, Sensei!

Let me tell you a story...

I get home from work the other day and I (stupidly) ask Ava what she learned today.
Rather than tell me, she wants to show me…which in my experience is not a good idea…

…this time will be no different.

Ava: "Pick me up".

I hesitate…since generally this is a setup that will leave some sort of bruise on me for the next few days.

Me: "Ummmmm..."

Ava: "C'mon I have to show you something"!

I pick her up.

Ava: "Now say, Gotcha, Kid"!

Me: "Gotcha, Kid"!

Ava boxes my ears really hard... startled, I drop her, she turns, faces me, goes into a fighting stance and kicks me in the balls.

I go down like a sack of filthy laundry.

Ava: "I LOVE DISCIPLINE"!

Told you it would leave a mark.

Well...this changes everything...