Help us to help you...

I always hated seeing these ads in New York City. They are NOT in any way designed to make people comfortable. They are designed so that Con Edison can avoid dealing with higher loads on their systems and the fear of a blackout. It’s about them, not about you. In fact Con Edison would love it if you would just send them a hundred bucks a month but never use “their” electricity at all.

Summer is heating up, so try these energy-saving ideas 
to keep your cool and save money!

Buy a new ENERGY STAR room air conditioner. And never turn it on…ever.

Keep A/C filters clean so your system runs more efficiently. And you’re gonna have to do that fifteen or twenty-two times a day because in the summer the air in NYC is just chock full of pollution, car exhaust, bike messenger-sweat fumes and the ever-lovely stench of 3-day old garbage cooking on hot street corners.

When you set your thermostat, keep in mind that every degree you lower it increases costs by 6 percent. So no matter how hot it is, leave your thermostat at 94 degrees all summer long.

When the A/C is running, close doors to keep cool air in and hot air out. Also remember that water keeps coming out of the faucet when its turned on.

Keep shades and blinds shut to keep the sun out. But why stop there? Place duct tape around every available surface, cover the windows in tinfoil and place bets on whether you suffocate or bake to death first.

Add up your savings with our free online energy calculators. These tools will make it very clear that if you are willing to spend the summer on smelly perspiration-drenched sheets in a tiny apartment with one window that faces a brick wall and now stinks of takeout from Excellent Dumpling House you can save upwards of $26 a month.

Run ovens, washing machines, dryers, and dishwashers early in the morning or late at night. It will also help us out a lot if you don’t take showers, only eat takeout and use plastic dishes whenever possible.

Cook in the microwave or outside on the grill to keep your kitchen cool. Yep, no shortage of grills in the shoebox-sized crapholes that you typically rent in New York. Maybe you can break the lock on the roof door and go up there and cook on the asphalt roof, its gotta be what…200 degrees up there by mid-day, right?

Call our EnergyLine (1-800-609-4488) for information on heat stress and additional tips to save on summer energy bills. I didn’t have any heat stress until you started telling me how to save money.

If you have power problems, we need to know so we can start ignoring you immediately. Report outages and check service restoration status at www.coned.com except if you have no power then you can’t do that or by calling 1-800-75-CONED. Except we won’t answer the phone because we are too busy sitting in our air conditioned offices with the thermostat set to 52 degrees joking about all the ways we can make you 
guys save energy.