Mmmmm...Gator Ribs

Had a pre-holiday lunch with my oh-so-lovely wife today at The Spillover... GatorRibs, Buffalo Shrimp Tacos and Mead...that's right mead...it's not just for Vikings anymore.

AY Holiday Happy Hour

Le Carnival du Krap

Ok so I live in Miami, it’s a unique place…to describe it properly some might use the words weird, erratic, batshit or even wackaloon and they would only be 30% right.

Anyhow, there is lots to love here but I can assure you that one of those things is not Santa’s Enchanted Village.

Let me explain…

Never mind that it cost a freakin $150 bucks for tickets and the “opportunity” to “win” a stuffed toy. 

Never mind that the donuts were fried in oil that was so old it may or may not have been used during a castle siege in 1581 to keep the peasants from entering a castle. 

Never mind that this place contains some of the most downright creepy, oddly arranged dioramas that were clearly pulled from the fever dream of a meth addict.

And never mind that the place seemed festooned with people who literally thought this place was magical…

…never mind all that. Just look at these images and let me know if you can figure out what the hell was going on…and worse if you can tell me why I thought it was a good idea to go there on a Sunday night instead of staying home and doing something more productive…like repeatedly slamming a door shut on my head, over and over...

Now look at the camera and say "copyright infringement".

WTF

The Return of WTF

Headless Children?

Just look at her face...

Here's a closer look if you have the stomach...

Fun House or Whorehouse? Not sure...

I'm not sure who "won" here...

These frightened me, it looked like they might fall on my head...

and I was OK with that.

Come again soon...NOT!

Oh...My...God...

These are photos of fish that were brought up from very deep waters. Roman Fedortsov is the deep sea fisherman in Russia who captured them.

And it got me thinking about people who think everything on earth was designed by a caring, nurturing, thoughtful being... people who think evolution is a myth and that God created everything in the universe...

...Well then gaze upon this and see what mighty works thy God hath wrought!

and my personal favorite nightmare...

NYC 2016

Well, when you put it that way...

So we are at my Mother-In-Law's for an early Holiday get-together. Relaxing at the end of a day full of relatives and good food.

Earlier in the day, the girls found a ball to toss around so Ava and Maddison were outside playing catch. The next day we are going to see our close friends The Roseo's and they have 5 boys...

Mom (to Renee): "So are you excited about seeing your friends tomorrow"?

Renee: "Yes, very much".

My mother-in-law turns to Ava...

Mom: (to Ava): "How about you, are you excited to see all the boys"?

Ava: "Yep".

Mom: "I'm sure some of the boys will have balls".

Me: (confused): "I'm pretty sure they ALL have balls".

Renee (to me): "You are such an asshole".

It's the very definition of the word...

Only a giant douchenozzle would park like this...