We are in the car on the way to school and Ava is reading from her American Girl question cards. If you aren’t aware, the American Girl dolls come from different eras in history so there is a pioneer girl, a girl from the 1800’s, one from the 1900’s…probably a cavegirl…but Im not sure about that last one.
Anyway...
Ava: “Daddy, If you could design the next American Girl Doll, what would her name be and what era would she be from?
Me: Hmmmmm.
Ava: "So”?
Me: "Ok…In a world where gasoline has run out and water is the only real commodity, Razor DeathStalker roams the land, a blighted landscape ravaged by the Great Water Wars of 2032. Sporting an eye patch, covered in tattoos of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, carrying enough weapons to invade a small country and assisted by her mutant Henchman Lars, Razor makes her way from town to town righting wrongs, smacking around bad dudes and generally just shooting the place up…How’s that?
Ava: “Uh, can you drop me off here”?
Me: "We're not at school yet…in the middle of the street”?
Ava: “Yes, please”.
Me: “Philistine”.
For Ava's birthday we had taken her to American Girl, which for those of you who don't know is this insane parental nightmare of a place where you can spend more on a custom doll for your beloved child than some nations spend on defense for an entire year.
So we were at lunch…yes, they serve lunch for the birthday girls, how else are they going to get the last of your money? Don't be stupid.
On the table were a series of question cards…these were tailored for little girls of course but you've probably played the adult version: Taboo. Generally those cards are designed to challenge the other players (your soon-to-be former friends) by asking the sort of moral questions that show you what sort of douchebaggery they engage in when under the influence of tequila and meth.
But I digress...
Anyway, we are driving to school and Ava is reading from the cards (the children's version) I think…
Ava: "If you created a breakfast cereal, what would be the slogan"?
Me: Hmmm, I guess it would be a children's cereal".
Ava: "Yes"?
Me: "So it would be: "Eat my damn cereal or Ill beat your narrow little ass".
Ava: "I don't think I would eat that cereal".
Me: "You don't know what you're missing".
